The New Social Order

Reserve your place in The New Social Order. You’ll cut the line and gain access to luxury accommodations, superb and unstuffy service, as well as coveted nightlife and restaurant exclusives.

I consider myself a...

(Check all that apply)


SkyMall Items Not Found in SkyMall


From’s Miles Klee, a list we’re lifting…

1. Remote-control Slinky.

2. Glass vial necklace with a gram of Thomas Kinkade’s ashes inside.

3. 24-pack of non-elastic underwear.

4. Alarm clock that works in the vacuum of space.

5. Gold-plated copy of “Dianetics: The Original Thesis.”

6. Waterproof sunglasses.

7. Wolf Blitzer-shaped piggy bank—plus bobble-head versions of other CNN newscasters, if possible.

8. Hologram backgammon board.

9. White noise gun.

10. 9,000-piece 3-D puzzle of President Jimmy Carter.

11. Antennae headband that turns your cat into a walking radio.

12. Self-hypnosis kit.

13. Velvet sack for scrotum comfort (with drawstring).

14. Combination toaster oven/clay kiln.

15. Home security gnome.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Read the entire piece at: