SkyMall Items Not Found in SkyMall

From BlackBook.com’s Miles Klee, a list we’re lifting…

1. Remote-control Slinky.

2. Glass vial necklace with a gram of Thomas Kinkade’s ashes inside.

3. 24-pack of non-elastic underwear.

4. Alarm clock that works in the vacuum of space.

5. Gold-plated copy of “Dianetics: The Original Thesis.”

6. Waterproof sunglasses.

7. Wolf Blitzer-shaped piggy bank—plus bobble-head versions of other CNN newscasters, if possible.

8. Hologram backgammon board.

9. White noise gun.

10. 9,000-piece 3-D puzzle of President Jimmy Carter.

11. Antennae headband that turns your cat into a walking radio.

12. Self-hypnosis kit.

13. Velvet sack for scrotum comfort (with drawstring).

14. Combination toaster oven/clay kiln.

15. Home security gnome.

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Read the entire piece at: blackbookmag.com/fifteen-items-that-should-be-featured-in-sky